In Manhattan, Topic No. 1 for parents, above real estate and the market, is Preschool. When I'm about and about with my 3-year-old, I'm often asked, "Where are you sending him to preschool?"
I reply, "I am homeschooling him. I take him to classes."
This always elicits a lengthy lecture on how kids need the socialization provided by preschool. The lecturers don't ever want to hear about what social opportunities Aubrey actually has, or what kids in the past might have had. The presumption is that I am ignorant of the concept and need to be brought up to speed.
The most recent lecture took place with an elderly female doctor in the playground by my house. After five minutes of it, I edged off to another area. She followed me and continued with the socialization.
I hear stories about how kids wake up and want to go see their friends at school. Even in summer.
Isn't all this socialization a fiction created by a socialist state meant to inculcate kids with the vision of a belonging to a harmonious community? Did Ben Franklin have socialization opportunities of this sort? Did Mozart have socialization? Isn't socialization just the preparation for the warehousing of the educational system to come?
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- Laurel Kenner
- Laurel Kenner is co-author of an acclaimed book on investing, “Practical Speculation” (Wiley & Sons, 2003) and founder of “Daily Speculations,” a forum for an international network of contributors attracted by her financial columns for Bloomberg News, thestreet.com and CNBC Money. With her former partner, Victor Niederhoffer, she has delivered guest lectures at Yale, Wharton, the London Business School and the University of Vienna’s Institute for Capital Market Research. Ms. Kenner has worked as a reporter at the Los Angeles bureau of the Associated Press (1987) and at Copley Los Angeles Newspapers (1988-1994), where she gained national attention and several awards for her coverage of the military space industry. From 1995 to 2000, she managed stock market coverage at the New York bureau of Bloomberg News. Born in California, Ms. Kenner studied piano with renowned teacher Aube Tzerko and performed professionally before shifting her focus to writing. She lives in New York City. Ms. Kenner plays chamber music and is co-founder of Kenner, Kinder & Liebhaber, a living-room concert series that welcomes children to classical performances.
9 comments:
Laurel asks (perhaps rhetorically):
Isn't all this socialization a fiction created by a socialist state meant to inculcate kids with the vision of a belonging to a harmonious community?
Does successfully playing/enjoying team sports or ensemble music require some different skills than playing solo sports and solo music? The answer is yes. But whether children acquire those additional skills in preschool is an entirely different question. however.
Did Ben Franklin have socialization opportunities of this sort?
Probably not, but Ben Franklin had no formal education past age 10. As a strictly legal matter, he was a truant. But he had siblings for socialization, and he ran away from home at a very young age. In contrast, Albert Einstein was a good student and at age 10, he was reading Kant and Euclid. Not sure what this proves ... except that one can find an exception to every rule.
Did Mozart have socialization?
If Aubrey is a child prodigy, I would agree that preschool is an utter waste of time.
Isn't socialization just the preparation for the warehousing of the educational system to come?
That is like asking, "Have you stopped beating your wife?"
There is plenty of academic research which shows that kids who do not attend pre-school are just fine. Whatever you decide will be ok...so you don't need to rationalize or obsess. Trust your instincts!
I would point out, however, that children play with, and learn from, other children differently than when they interact with adults. I still remember that Warren B, whose father was president of the local chapter of the Women's Garment Union, hit me over the head with a milk-bottle shaped wooden block in kindergarten. That is a lesson that I could have never learned if I had been homeschooled.
Cheers,
Rocky.
interesting...
Laurel,
Its safe to say that Aubrey will grow up to be an articulate, well educated, well socialized man, based on none other than his pedigree. I would argue that daily interactions with his peers should be a part of that upbringing, but there are plenty of examples of successful home-schooled kids that become talented, worldly individuals.
Keep up the good work.
Laurel - Please forgive the directness of what I wrote below. Please, feel free to ignore/delete.
Your child is a composite of nature and nurture. The ratio of nature to nurture is impossible to determine. The nurture you provide will be unique to you. Your child will reflect that. In some cases nurture may overcome the flaws of nature; in other cases nature will overpower the hard labor of nurture.
My kids love to play with and learn from other kids. My kids also love to play with and learn from their parents. I find a lot of comfort in the thought that although parenting is the greatest challenge I have ever faced, it is also a forgiving process where mistakes can be corrected without significant long-term implications.
I am saying this because I sense some slight lack of self-confidence in the post. You know you are doing the best thing for your child. Why does it matter to you how Mozart, Franklin grew up or what a stranger says on the street?
I also read your post titled "Kids and Separation" which I think you may have deleted. The problems are REAL and they unfortunately impact your son in real ways through you. Somehow I thought of a movie called "Life Is Beautiful" about a father and a little boy in concentration camps. I always think how I would have responded had I been that father. Problems come in different sizes and shapes but you probably should know that you can certainly handle them just fine.
Have you ever read Ivan Illich's book from the 1970s, "Deschooling Society?" He delves into some of the same themes you cover in an interesting way.
http://www.scribd.com/doc/12906865/Ivan-Illich-Deschooling-Society
Great article on Aubrey. Through Mara, Alex, Vic, Laurel, Bill, myself, and if i can get my son on board, Aubrey will be well prepared for everything that is thrown at him.
When I get my little academy going, then some real education will get done. I just need to keep my teaching quiet as the consultants and bureaucrats don't like widgets of a different form, I was a misshapen widget all my life and they tried to destroy me every step of the way. I will actively seek out and encourage kids that are in my situation and allow them to not make as many mistakes as Me.
Jeff
I think it could be good for some kids and not for others. This was interesting: http://scienceblogs.com/cortex/2009/08/the_perry_preschool.php
If Aubrey is detail oriented and has a long attention span for his age it is entirely likely he will find much of his peer group to be a nuisance.
"Socialization" of a child is educrat speak for breaking a child's independant spirit such that what is left is a commodity that easily managed by the system.
Those who went through the system or buy into its values seek validation for their choices and life experience. Alternate approaches are an itch that must be scratched. Their discomfort will only be removed if and when they have succeeded in their proselytizing. It is how the false "socialization" dogma spreads.
Nat writes:
"Socialization" of a child is educrat speak for breaking a child's independant spirit such that what is left is a commodity that easily managed by the system."
Actually, "socialization" of an individual is educrat speak for providing the skills and habits necessary for acting and participating within their society.
See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Socialization
My teenage daughter still likes to eat spaghetti with her fingers, and if you accuse me of trying to "break her spirit" ... by asking her to either use a fork, or leave the table, than I am guilty as charged!
Manners, hygiene, politeness, sharing, competing, listening to others -- these are all part of socialization. And bad habits learned as a young child are very difficult to change as an adult.
Laurel asked whether pre-school attendance is a necessary condition for socialization of an otherwise healthy, happy and intelligent child. The answer is no.
Everyone needs to find own path to heaven. While Nat's criticsm of proselytzing is spot-on correct, it goes in both (all) directions.
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