New Moon grossed the most of any film ever in its first weekend, so I went to see it as my cultural duty. Girl and Boy fall in love. Boy is part of a little vampire family. Lovely little family, except they're all pale and ruby-lipped with a bad case of photographic red-eye, and one of the male relatives wants to eat Girl when he gets a sight of a bleeding cut on her arm, and Boy's sister wants to kill Girl in return for Boy's having killed her own true love.
The little vampire family must on, as the neighbors are starting to suspect something. Boy refuses to take Girl along, overruling her desire to become a vampire. Girl is devastated and alone, as nobody in her Northwestern high school understands.
Neighbor boy to the rescue. He's cute, with a wolfish grin. Oops, turns out he really is a wolf, part-time! He has a werewolf gene that activates when vampires, sworn enemies to werewolves,are in the 'hood.
Some thin to-do takes place about a vampire-werewolf treaty and Girl's attempt to reunite with Boy by doing away with herself.
I was rooting for the werewolf, who at least has normal eyes and skin tone. Alas, Boy's family votes Girl into the vampire fold. Soon she will develop her own case of red-eye. The ending is so pathetic that it must be left unreported.
1 comments:
That's the first review I've ever read that's better than both the book and the movie...
Post a Comment